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Little Ditty
Every evening
As I’m lying here in bed
This tiny little prayer
Keeps running thru my head
God bless my mom and dad
And bless my little pup
And look out for my brother
When things aren’t looking up
And God, there’s one more thing
I wish that you could do
Hope ya don’t mind me asking
But please bless my computer too??
Now I know that’s not normal
To bless a mother board
But just listen a second
While I explain to you, my Lord
You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds & ends
Inside those small compartments
Rest hundreds of my ‘BEST FRIENDS’
Some it’s true I’ve never seen
And most I’ve never met
We’ve never exchanged hugs
Or shared a meal as yet…
I know for sure they like me
By the kindness that they give
And this little scrap of metal
Is how I travel to where they live
By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you
I share in what life brings them
From that our friendship grew
“Please” take an extra minute
From your duties up above
To bless this scrap of metal
That’s filled with so much love!
You Know You’re an Internet Addict When…
You are an Internet Addict when…
1.) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
2.) You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue as to when it happened.
3.) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.
4.) Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.
5.) You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
6.) You start introducing yourself as “Jim at net dot com”
7.) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address on TV.
8.) You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
9.) Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
10.) All of your friends have an @ in their names.
11.) When looking at a web page full of someone else’s links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
12.) Your dog has its own home page.
13.) You can’t call your mother… She doesn’t have a modem.
14.) You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.
15.) Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.
16.) You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
17.) You don’t know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
18.) Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.
19.) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
20.) You tell the kids they can’t use the computer because “Daddy’s got work to do” — even though you don’t have a job.
21.) You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
22.) Your wife makes a new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”
23.) You get a tattoo that says “This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher.”
24.) You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP… because you never log off.
25.) The last girl you picked up was only a GIF.
26.) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
27.) Your wife says communication is important in a marriage… so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
28.) As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the “back” button.
Spell Czech
I halve a spelling chequer. It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write. It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid, it nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite. Its rarely ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it, I am shore your pleased two no.
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh. My chequer tolled me sew.
Sauce Unknown